9.21.23 - Psalm 62:4
Where in your life are you holding on to wounds for the sole reason of making others feel the same hurt you did? Imagine for a moment letting them go, what's the immediate feeling you experience?
Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence. They take pleasure in falsehood; they bless with their mouths, but inwardly they curse.
I grew up in the South. This passage reminds me of the deep meanings of the phrase, “Bless your heart.”
Ok, but silliness aside, I am also reminded of the words of Alok Vaid Menon, a trans activist, poet, comedian, and author. They talk about patterns of hate, rejection, and rigid beliefs that come out of places where people hold unhealed hurt or jealousy. “Who are you to be whole, joyful, and fully yourself when I was not allowed to be? That cannot be right….”
This week, I let my spouse throw a very big 40th birthday celebration for me. This was a spiritual practice, I am certain of it.
I had noticed myself being grumpy about other family member’s attention and celebration which told me that I was jealous and in need of a little bit of celebration myself. I needed to allow the part of myself that needed celebration some attention to heal. It was a spiritual practice to allow my people to show up for me, to trust myself to take in joy, to experience community love.
Where do you find yourself feeling grumpy, jealous, morally panicking, or righteous? What is the underlying need you have there? Where is the part of you who could use healing, grace, a little attention, a little more joy?
--Theo Isoz