“Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me. You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.”
What is sin? I no longer believe that I was born bad. My childhood ideas of sin and repentance no longer serve me or my community well.
However, I do see that from the moment of my birth, I have been part of systems that have harmed so many. The church has been and still is one such place. The harm we've caused seems baked into the beliefs and practices. We've participated in racism, sexism, oppression, and any number of system sins.
But this verse reminds me of our “secret heart” and the wisdom found there.
What happens when we listen with the tenderest of our hearts, the part of ourselves that is so vulnerable we keep it secret from most people - maybe even from ourselves? What does this secret heart tell us of God? Of sin?
David here reminds us that God does not rejoice in a sacrifice. God rejoices in our honest heart, the one that doesn’t self-protect. The one that is contrite for the harm we have enacted. The one that can reach out and create healing.
How might you pay attention to that secret honest heart today? What practices might allow you to regularly connect with it?
--Theo Isoz
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